There are so many pieces of advice that come your way when you get pregnant. Phrases like “sleep when the baby sleeps” and “it goes by so fast” trickle in every other day. While most advice comes from the most kind-hearted, well-meaning, and often very experienced parents, the gals stranded on Triplet Mom Island often resort to stacking hands in our own private huddle, accepting pep talks come from those who have played the game.
Before our third baby graced our sonogram, the thought of joining a Facebook moms group made me cringe. However, this is where I’ve found my sanity – and much of the content for this post. To those who have said things on this list, we love you and appreciate you. It’s just that sometimes, we’re in our own little world. While we wish every piece of advice worked like a charm, sometimes we just take a deep breath, another step, and learn what works (which is something new every day.)
“Sleep when the baby sleeps!“
…which baby? When one stops, the other begins. While my three typically do well overnight, they didn’t start napping together during the day until about four months, and even still, it’s an accomplishment.
“Hand the baby off when you need a break.“
We have more babies than laps.
“Be sure to go on weekly date nights.“
Luckily our babies have wonderful grandparents who could watch them for a couple hours when they’re in town, but that is a BIG ask and can only happen so often. There’s no “taking the baby with us to dinner.” Just imagine how romantic that would be. We would have one hand between the both of us to feed ourselves.
“You don’t need a strict routine.”
While I’m pretty casual about a lot of things, the babies do have a routine. We assembly line their diapers and feedings. The alternate is getting up constantly. Especially in the beginning when we would only get about an hour-max of sit down time before the routine picked up again.
“At least dad doesn’t have to get up for night feeds.”
Triplet dads are Supermen. They have to do way more work than the average new father. Especially in the beginning, it’s all hands on deck. We took shifts as much as possible, but everyone has plenty of bottle/diaper experience around here.
“10 little fingers and 10 little toes” merchandise.
Try 30.
“Enjoy your maternity leave.“
Don’t get me wrong, I loved having time off work. However, NICU parents don’t exactly get a vacation.
“You’re going to be so cute pregnant!” Or any mention of glowing.
Yeah, no.
“You should post the video of you telling your husband you’re pregnant!”
Nothing about our pregnancy surprises was photogenic. When we found out about one baby, we were in shock. When we thought it was twins, we were in shock and overwhelmed. When the third showed up, I had a panic attack in a parking lot behind a Sonic while my starving and shocked husband supported me. Let’s just skip to the baby pics.
Regular complaints about pregnancy pains.
This one is hard because I do not want to be invalidating. Just because one experience was hard, doesn’t make anyone else’s experience easy. Every pregnancy is hard in some form or another… but holy cow. I was 32 weeks when a stranger told me that I must be carrying multiple. Not gonna lie, I felt validated. Not only do you grow larger than the average pregnant woman, but you grow much, much faster. Every week I swore my body couldn’t stretch anymore. In some ways, triplet pregnancies are a marathon. In others, they’re a sprint. Two words. Tiger. Stripes.
Breast feeding suggestions.
Breastfeeding is an extremely personal experience, and unique to every mom. The logistics that go into feeding three premie newborns is insane. There is really no way of understanding it until you’ve lived it as a triplet parent – ESPECIALLY if you’re a mom who is pumping and/or breastfeeding.
Vehicle suggestions.
I’m the girl who said she would never be a mini van owner – forced to be a mini van owner. I’m extremely grateful for our van now. It’s wonderful. (Shoutout Honda Odyssey) But the was journey here was long. For example, if you want to fit all three carseats in the middle row (a non-negotiable for us), then your options are very, very limited. Most people’s idea of a mom car would not have worked. Too narrow, no bench seat, etc. Trust me, I wanted to be an SUV mom so badly. I tried. God told me I could either be cool or excessively fertile. Then He laughed and gave me triplets and a mini van. What can you do?
Stroller and carseat suggestions.
Everything is now Tetris. The carseats must fit in the car. The car must store the stroller. They all have to fit in the budget. We decided on the Odyssey and a 4-seat Wonderfold wagon.
“You should start a blog!”
Actually… not a bad idea.
…
O-kay, that’s all for now. I know we have enough content for a part two but for now, I hope this gave you glimpse into the mind of a first time mom of three, figuring it out as she goes. Maybe you had a laugh or two.
For the singleton parents, we love and adore you. Thank you for being there for us even when we are a mess. For the parents of multiples, I hope you feel seen. Consider joining a Facebook community. It helps.
three in one 
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