I have three babies. Three babies who need to eat. We keep them all on the same schedule and they let us know pretty close to meal time that they are READY. They’re not even 5 months old, and their internal alarm clocks are set.
The thing about babies is, they don’t have a volume setting that I can customize to my liking. One minute they’re napping, and the next, it’s like I’ve never fed them on time. 30 minutes? 15 minutes til meal time? We have gone from sleepy coos to top-of-lungs begging. I could have the bottles on the counter and be two steps away from picking them up, but they don’t know that. They can’t see that.
There are so many things about parenthood that take from you. I’m settling into that. But part of why I think parenthood is so fulfilling is what you can take from it.
You can’t take directly from your children, but through God’s voice and His grace and through all the nooks He tucks and weaves His goodness into, you can gain through the refining. It’s fun to be selfish. It isn’t good to be selfish. So while I’m becoming a better me, while I’m shedding what once was to process the summation of the past year and make room for the progression of the current, I’m taking something new. A fresh perspective.
When my kids are screaming their tiny adorable heads off, I’ve on more than one occasion muttered the words, “Have I ever not fed you?”
I’ll never know what it’s like to be God, but moments like this help me step into what it’s like to look down on the blood of your blood, flesh of your flesh, and beg them to reflect on the patterns of provision.
Imagine the bread crumbs of Christ, sprinkled up to this very moment, illuminated for your convenience, and able to be referenced at every moment of questioning. How often do I look like my five month olds? My beautiful boys, God bless them, hold the excuses of innocence and naivety.
Sometimes, the only reason I can’t swoop them up is because I’m filling a bottle or dealing with their brother(s). God is never too preoccupied or too busy. He never has His hands too full. But sometimes, the only reason He isn’t swooping us up with obvious grandeur is because something else is brewing – and yes, for some reason it has to be brewing right now. His timing, not mine.
Sometimes being saved or rescued requires faith turned into patience – the bought-in belief on our part that God is not only coming, but He is here and there. He is present as our Comforter and omnipresent as our Provider. Our provision is constantly streaming. What we are waiting for is coming. What we need is with us moment by moment.
When we took our final steps out of the NICU on day 28, we were a lot of things – but one of those things was frustrated. Although we were happy that the boys were breaking out, healthy as could be, if the hospital had allowed them to stay just two more days, the state would have paid for what insurance couldn’t cover. Just 30-some hours would have put them over the mark. Let’s just say we could have bought a nice vehicle, knocked out most of my student loans, or had a much larger down payment on a home with those funds.
“Where are you, God” I cried just a couple days before we were to leave. “You gave us this, now do something about it.”
Has He ever not fed us?
The provision didn’t come all at once, but boy did it come. Little by little, it came in. Unexpected gifts, meal train arrivals, gift cards and funds from strangers had me crying in a new way. How could these people be so generous? So many people blessed us that we know. SO many strangers responded to God to help a family with their hands full. I will just give you one example.
I met a woman over Facebook Marketplace when I was looking for carseats. When I first found out we were expecting three, the stroller and carseat dilemma consumed my mind. Surely we would be out thousands of dollars by the time we purchased three identical seats, bases, and a triple stroller. If this amount sounds crazy to you, go shopping for brand new triplet gear that fits in your vehicle/needs perfectly and get back to me.
Long story short, I offered to buy a stranger’s carseats and she told me that her husband and she wanted to bless us and give them to us for free. When we arrived to pick it up, she loaded our car up with her lightly used baby gear. She messaged me after we had the babies and asked if she could bring us more gear to our doorstep.
She arrived with bags and bags of baby gear, new boxes of diapers, and gift cards. I cried when I plugged the code into my online cart and saw that she and her husband were giving with no holding back. She didn’t know me, but she knew God.
Did I have that provision the second I asked for it? No. But God was cooking in this woman’s heart. In the very cadence of manna from heaven, dinner would once again be served.
three in one 
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